In fact, the Governor’s offer to create a civil union ombudsman is the very essence of the political theatre he decries.

How in the world would a civil union ombudsman enforce the civil union law for New Jersey couples who work in New York, a state that recognizes marriage equality – would New York State actually deputize a New Jersey civil union ombudsman to work within its own borders?   How in the world would a civil union ombudsman deal with the children being raised by same-sex couples – children stigmatized at school by questions about the perceived inferiority of their families because of the second-class civil union label?   How in the world would a civil union ombudsman deal with the assault on the dignity faced by civil union couples by hospitals and employers who understand the civil union law perfectly well – but sneer at the relationship of couples who aren’t married?

A civil union ombudsman might well be the country’s first-ever Enforcer of Discrimination – and worse.   A civil union ombudsman is nothing more than the shameless dressing up of a veto of people’s dignity and equality – the equivalent of gold-plating a separate water fountain for a specific class of people.

I came of political age where leaders who disagree passionately on the issues, who even fight with one another like cats and dogs in the political arena, were able put the fights aside and see one another as people.  I grew up at a time when the legendary Democratic Speaker of the U.S. House, Tip O’Neill – a hero of mine – and President Reagan did exactly that.  And it’s always been my philosophy in dealing with Governor Christie and his Administration.

And having worked for several public officials myself, I know there’s a heck of lot more to them than their public images would suggest.   No public figure is the two-dimensional character of the headlines.   As Garden State Equality’s leader, I have worked closely with this Governor on issues upon which we agree, notably to counter school bullying.

As I have said before, where we agree with them on the issues, Governor Christie and his Administration have treated us with warmth and responsiveness.  Yes is yes, no is no, and we’ll get back to you means they get back to you faster than you thought, usually with invaluable help.

And that’s precisely why Governor Christie’s veto of the marriage equality bill will hurt so badly.  We’re not naïve – we’ve always known he would veto the bill, and frankly, I was always a bit puzzled by the silly tea-leaf reading and phantasmagoric hopes that perhaps the Governor would look deep inside his heart and let the bill become law.  Ridiculous.  I know this Governor, and when he says he’ll do something, take him at his word, for better and here for worse.

It’s why I chose not to waste a breath in pleading with the Governor not to veto – and have put Garden State Equality immediately to work to achieve an override.  The great news is, we have until the end of the legislative session, in January 2014, to do it.

That doesn’t obviate the pain of the Governor’s veto.  Because I do know him, I also know he is not some anti-LGBT nut.  He is no Rick Santorum.  Frankly, I don’t think Chris Christie has an anti-gay bone in his body, however much I cannot say the same about his impending veto.  His veto will be a brutally anti-gay act, pure and simple.

The Governor keeps calling for a referendum, which everyone knows will never happen in New Jersey.  To borrow the Governor’s words, it’s time for him to stop engaging in political theater.  Our lives are not La Cage Aux Folles:  LGBT people fall in love, raise families, often children whom the rest of society shuns, and pay taxes in what is still one of the most heavily taxed states in the country.

Our Governor knows our contributions to society.  He won’t veto the bill because he’s anti-gay.  He’ll veto the bill because the 2016 South Carolina Republican Presidential primary electorate is anti-gay.  And if I get flooded with letters now from Charleston, so be it.

And that’s what hurts so badly.   I like this Governor and am able to see him beyond the headlines.  When you are rejected by someone you want so badly to love you unconditionally – my own parents have taught me what that’s like – the pain is searing.  Rick Santorum I can live with.  Gerry Cardinale I can live with, too.  But Chris Christie’s rejection?  That hurts.

Governor, rest assured that even though I came of political age in an era where political adversaries could be friends – and if you’re game, we’ll continue that good relationship – Garden State Equality and I will continue to fight you on marriage equality with every bone in our bodies.  You would expect no less.

For us, this is not about politics.  This is about our fundamental American right to conduct our lives with a full life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Equality.

And until we achieve it, we will fight with our every last breath.  And we will win, so help me God.

Here’s the statement I made at our news conference immediately after today’s Assembly vote:

Since Stonewall, we have been on a 40-year journey toward our freedom.  Today, the legislature has brought us to the edge of the promised land.  We know the Governor won’t let us enter, but we finally behold the view of our dreams and we will never turn back.

Today’s milestone came in the face of some of the toughest obstacles in the history of the marriage equality movement.  Instead of a Governor twisting arms on our behalf, we have a Governor who twisted arms against us right up until the final votes in each chamber.    And Garden State Equality’s budget was one-tenth of what it was two years ago.

But we had the people and the passion.  We also had the greatest legislative leaders.  They include the bill’s longtime prime sponsors, Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg, Senator Raymond Lesniak and Assemblyman Reed Gusciora, as well as Senate President Steve Sweeney, Assembly Speaker Sheila Oliver, Assembly Majority Leader Lou Greenwald, Assembly Speaker Pro Tempore Jerry Green, and Democratic Party Chair Assemblyman John Wisniewski.  We thank the unsung heroes of the legislative process – the legislative staff, especially the Assembly Majority and Senate Majority staff.

We are exuberant advocates but also methodical strategists.  To win an override, we will take the time we need, assisted by a changing world.  Look how the world changed since the last vote two years ago.   We have until the end of the legislative session, January 2014.  The key is winning.

We could not have achieved this milestone without our partner organizations.  Freedom to Marry was the national linchpin that never stopped believing in Garden State Equality, not even after our profound disappointment two years ago, and made this milestone possible.

The Human Rights Campaign lent us a spectacular field director and was invaluable and gracious at every juncture.  The ACLU, The Task Force and Marriage Equality NY/USA gave us additional power.   Our sisters and brothers in labor, especially the Communications Workers of America, have been relentless fighters by our side.   Our state’s progressive blog, Blue Jersey, has been an unsurpassed voice for justice.

And once again, we thank our spectacular lobbying firm, the Kaufman Zita Group, including Jeannine LaRue, Tom Wilson, Adam Kaufman and Trish Zita.  They are second to none.

Pursuing all roads to justice, Garden State Equality and seven-same sex couples will continue our lawsuit for marriage equality, where we are represented by Lambda Legal and the nationally renowned Gibbons law firm.  With this victory, the courts will see the legislature’s clear intent to replace the state’s failed civil union law with marriage equality.

JON HOLDEN GALLUCCIO, AUTHOR OF “AN AMERICAN FAMILY” WITH MICHAEL GALLUCCIO AND DAVID GROFF, IS A FINANCIAL SERVICES REPRESENTATIVE WITH METLIFE. HE RESIDES WITH MICHAEL AND TWO OF THEIR CHILDREN IN NORTH HALEDON.  HE CAN BE CONTACTED AT WWW.GALLUCCIO.COM @njgayfamily on twitter and on facebook Jon Holden Galluccio